A Klutz In Love

Posted by: bossybetsy on: April 23, 2010

In: dating | sitting
Comment!

Dear Betsy,

My boyfriend is a jock. Not a meatheaded nut-scratchin’ “WOOO!” jock, but an actual enthusiastic athlete. He runs in races, bikes everywhere, swims to relax, etc. He also runs with a crowd of people who have similar interests, so he and his friends are always rushing off to play volleyball and tennis and whatnot.

Now that we’re dating, he’s very excited to share all these activities with me, so he’s always inviting me along. And the “invitation” often comes in the form of unintentional pressure – “Come on, are you coming? You’ve gotta come! It’ll be so much fun! Seriously! You’ve gotta come along!” etc.

I know he’s just excited, and actually, I think it’s sweet that he wants to share this side of his life with me (and the positive influence associated with getting me in better shape doesn’t hurt either). The thing is, I’m a sedentary, bookish sort and always have been. I stay in decent shape just because I live in the city and walk everywhere, and I noodle around with some Pilates and jogging in my spare time, but these are solitary endeavors, and that’s the case for a reason. I’m an exceptionally clumsy person, uncoordinated and easily winded, and I never developed the muscle memory for playing sports that most people did when they played as kids, because I just… never did.

I’m horribly anxious about flailing around like a huge doofy goober in front of my boyfriend and (especially) his friends, and I don’t want everyone having to grit their teeth and be a good sport while I’m just clearly dragging the true athletes down. The whole thing is kind of making me want to hide, but I don’t know how to tell my boyfriend that without dampening his sweet “let me show everyone how awesome you are!” enthusiasm.

Help me, Bets – this is like eighth grade gym class all over again.

Signed,
A Klutz In Love

Dear Klutz,

Come sit over here by me and we’ll talk about it. While we’re sitting. Because that is what I am good at. I am very, very good at sitting and sitting-based activities. I am the Christa Luding-Rothenburger of sitting–if there were a sitting event in the Olympics, I’d medal in the Winter and Summer Games.

So, Klutz, I get where you’re coming from. On the one hand, there is your athletic boyfriend. On the other hand, there is your couch. They are both highly desirable. You can only enjoy them at the same time on a limited basis. You must find a way to divide your time so that neither is jealous of the other.

I would advise you to sit your boyfriend down on your couch and explain to them that you love them both. You explain to your boyfriend that some people are natural doers and some people are natural watchers of the doers, and that you fall into the second category. You can tell him that you’re not comfortable being a big goob in front of his friends, but that you do enjoy accompanying him to his various athletic pursuits, and that sometimes you’d prefer to watch him rather than your feet. And then you tell your sofa that you won’t be sitting on it quite as much anymore, but you’ll never abandon it. You’ll always come back. Always.

Hopefully that will satisfy everyone. And if you ever need anyone to sit with you while you are watching the doers, let me know. I will bring my knitting and my trail mix and my half-caf sugar-free vanilla iced latte, and we can sit there for days.

Hope that helps,
Betsy

Need advice on the best places to sit, or anything else? Ask me at advice at bossybetsy.com.